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News What it's like to be straight in Hillcrest By Leopard J. Ferry January 9, 2006 Hillcrest--You ever wonder what it’s like to be straight in Hillcrest? And I don’t mean being straight and visiting once in a while. No, I mean being straight and living or working in Hillcrest. I did. I wondered so much, I moved here. Plenty of people living outside of Hillcrest see the area as a gay enclave, a place exclusively gay,…the Srebrenica of San Diego. Others see it as an eclectic neighborhood, all inclusive. Then there are others still who have absolutely no idea what to make of the place.
What was I supposed to do, stand on a street corner with a clipboard in my hand? I imagined a typical exchange: Me: Hi there, do you have a minute? Straight-looking person: Maybe. [Warily] Is this about the environment? Me: No. Screw the environment. Bush is doing a great job. Actually, I want to know if you’re straight! What kind of clown would go about gathering info that way? Well, call me Krusty, because that’s pretty much what I did. I brought a digital voice recorder, note pad, and pen, and walked up and down University. I walked into plenty of places and just walked out. The people were either too busy or too gay. (Remember: I’m trying to find straight people, their perspective.) The first place I had the agates to go into was Hamburger Mary’s, one of the gayest establishments in Hillcrest. I approached the bartender, a good looking guy, and told him I was writing an article on what it’s like to be straight in Hillcrest, and whether there was anyone in the bar who could help me out. “I can’t help you,” he said. “But she’s straight.” He pointed to a blonde waitress. Great, I’d found my mark. Only, she didn’t really want to talk to me. I gave the soft sell: “I’m writing an article, and I’m looking for straight people in Hillcrest, and if you’re interested in helping me out, I’d like to ask a couple of questions….But, you know, if not, blah-blah-blah.” Well, she opted for blah-blah-blah. She did throw me a bone, though, and told me that there was another straight woman who’d be clocking in in an hour, and that I should come back then. I walked out of Hamburger Mary’s feeling very gauche. No—worse. I felt utterly deviant and obtrusive. And I kind of liked it. I strolled a few doors down, to the Bread & Cie bakery. I was feeling self-conscious. After all, going into a bakery and asking a baker about his sex life wasn’t the coolest thing to do. I knew this. But, the questions loomed in the back of my head. What’s it like to be straight in Hillcrest? What percentage of people living and working in Hillcrest are straight? So, I told the cashier what I was trying to accomplish. He looked around for some straight employees. “He’s straight,” he said, pointing out a baker in a toque. “And so is he.” The cashier called the guys over and let them know what I wanted. I again gave the soft sell. To my surprise, neither of them wanted to comment at all what it was like being straight in Hillcrest. They obfuscated and drifted away from the counter. “Is there anyone else who can help me out?” I asked the cashier. I just needed a quote, a comment, a one-word answer,…anything! “No, I’m sorry,” he replied. “Good luck.” I walked into Starbucks and walked right out. I glanced at the Brass Rail and briefly thought about becoming a sports reporter. Where were all the straight bois? I passed glumly into St. Tropez on Fifth and approached the cashier, a handsome blonde guy. “I’m writing an article on what it’s like to be straight in Hillcrest. Is there anyone here who’s straight and who could answer a few questions?” “Ha! You’re zeerious?” he cried--he was openly French. “Yes, I am.” “That’s great!” he replied, breaking into a big smile. “That’s a great idea.” I felt a surge of optimism. He called over two straight employees. “Hey, check this out! He’s writing an article about being straight in Hillcrest.” The employees, a man and a woman, declined to comment for the article. “Oh, come on!” the cashier implored them. “You should answer his questions!” But, nope. It occurred to me after I left the café that I was running headlong into a phenomenon that people had only joked about: the closeted heterosexual. The gays in Hillcrest are out and proud. The straights are in and silent. There seemed to be a don’t ask, don’t tell policy for hets in Hillcrest. -----♀♂----- A glutton for the hairy eyeball and sniggers, I returned to Hamburger Mary’s and once again asked to speak with a straight employee. Turns out, the waitress didn’t want to talk to me. But she steered me to three employees gathered around the bar. “They’re all straight,” she said of the two men and one woman. And two of them were willing to talk. “What percentage of people living and working in Hillcrest do you think are straight?” I asked. “About ten percent,” the woman answered. “No, less than that,” the guy interjected. “About five percent.” “Do you ever feel uncomfortable working in Hillcrest?” “When I first started, yeah,” she replied. “Sometimes guys hit on me,” he stated. “It’s a little uncomfortable, but you get used to it.” “Do your gay friends or co-workers ever tease you about being straight?” “Yeah,” they both answered. “What kinds of things do they say?” “They call us ‘breeders,’” he answered ruefully. “But we tease ‘em right back.” I thanked them very much about being so open about their straightness and left feeling quite positive about getting the article done. -----♀♂----- I scored at the Corvette Diner, finding three flamboyantly heterosexual waitresses who were very forthcoming in their answers. Two of them, Alexa and Danielle, did most of the talking. “What percentage of people living and working in Hillcrest do you think are straight?” I asked. “About forty percent,” said Alexa. Neither had ever been teased for being straight, nor had they ever been hit on at the diner. But they have been hit on around Hillcrest. “How did you respond?” I asked. “I smile and laugh about it. I don’t get upset or nervous,” said Danielle. “I just never think that a lesbian would find me attractive, so I just think it’s really funny. I think, ‘Meeee?’” “Do you try to give off a straight vibe when you’re walking around?” “No, but a lot of people think my boyfriend is gay because he wears tighter clothes,” Danielle answered. “So I’ll hug him and hold his hand a lot more when we’re in Hillcrest.” “People used to think that my boyfriend was gay, too!” added Alexa. “Do you feel uncomfortable bringing your boyfriends to Hillcrest?” I asked. “No,” Danielle said dismissively. “When guys tell me my boyfriend is hot, I think it’s a compliment.” “It’s kind of fun to check out guys with the gay guys who work here,” she added.(Continued) Page 1 | Page 2 Suggested Vyuz reading... Steve York, UCSD student pornographer, chooses law over porn | By Larry Knowles Who is Jane Doe? | By Larry Knowles The bare facts about Brazilian waxing | By Romina Cleary What pilots look for in airports, women | By Rob Potochnik A serial networker walks among us | By April Labine-Katko |
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