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My girlfriend has a hot body and I want to rock that thing in lingerie, how/where do I go and how do I get the right thing that fits, is sexy, and doesn’t piss her off? (Huggybear)

Before I answer, dude, you HAVE to get a better moniker. Your question points to you being straight, but your e-mail name says “middle-aged, hairy, gay guy in chaps.” Sorry, it had to be said. Back to your question…

There are some real “do’s” and “don’ts” involved in this one. Tread carefully here. ow you do this is going to mean the difference between you getting a Penthouse Forum kind of blow-your-mind sexy experience or a huge, nasty fight that will have her wearing flannel pyjamas as you sleep on the couch. Here are my tips on this:

Don’t present lingerie as a gift to her, particularly as a birthday or anniversary gift. Women know this is something really for you and she’ll feel cheated out of a real gift. Present it as a treat for both of you, a way to celebrate her gorgeous body (that you just can’t get enough of).

Purchase a lingerie store gift card for her. The best options for this are Victoria’s Secret, or something along these lines, where they offer sexy lingerie, but the store isn’t intimidating or embarrassing for her. A lot of women consider Victoria’s sexy but Fredrick’s of Hollywood skanky. Once she gets comfortable with lingerie, she can explore other stores on her own. Make sure the gift certificate is for at least $150. This stuff ain’t cheap, and she should be able to choose exactly what she wants. You can, of course, spend more depending on your financial situation.

When she wears it for you: REWARD, REWARD, REWARD. She needs to really know just how hot she is and how she is simply the best girlfriend in the entire world—the hottest woman you know. Tell her you can’t believe a guy like you could even be with a girl this hot.

Resist the urge to tear if off of her in 15 minutes. Enjoy the experience and provide all sorts of foreplay and attention before getting anywhere near the actual sex. Drink her in slooooowly. If you tear if off in five minutes, she’ll feel it was a wasted experience and won’t buy any more. “Why wear lingerie when all they do is take it off you?” I hear women say all the time.

I asked my girlfriend to get the full Brazilian wax and she said it was selfish of me to ask her to do this. I'm turned on by the bare look and just wanted to let her know what I was thinking. (Ethan, La Jolla)

Personally, Ethan, I am fully convinced that the Brazilian waxers have some type of evil union going on and are poised, hot wax in one hand, stubs of pubic hair in the other, to take over the world. This is a very, very determined group of marketing geniuses. The Brazilian wax is painful, expensive, and unnecessary.

Now this doesn’t mean I’m agreeing with your GF, either. As many of my pics will attest, I keep myself perennially bare down there, as I love the look, the feel, the eroticism, and yes, the hygiene.

Luckily, there is a very simple and easy way to do this without many of the negatives of waxing. It is the razor, and it is available at your local drug store.

Your GF may be balking at the idea of a) pain, b) expense, c) strangers up in her muff while she’s bent over like an Uzbeki porn star, and d) the overall pain in the ass factor (no pun intended). Shaving however, is easy, economical, private, takes only a few minutes. Also, you don’t have to let the hair grow back—and deal with itching—before you can do it again. Some razor bumps are to be expected in the beginning, but with regular shaving and lots of shaving cream, that area adjusts and becomes just like any other part you shave regularly.

As far as you being selfish, I disagree. I think you are to be commended for openly sharing your desires with your partner. After all, a relationship is constant interplay between giving and taking and both partners need to accommodate the other as much as they can in order to keep everyone happy. Being that hair grows back, this seems to be a pretty easily accommodated request. Be sure when asking for this to stress not that you don’t like her current degree of hair, but that you are so turned on by her body, you want to see more of it. Also, ask her if there is something she’d like you to do and consider some kind of fun, sexual quid-pro-quo.

If she does do this for you Ethan, make sure she is amply rewarded for her efforts (wink, wink, I think you know where I’m going…) in order to reinforce not just the shaving but the fact that she did something just for you.

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Jane Doe is a board certified psychotherapist. Send questions relating to sex, relationships, porn, culture, fitness, et al. to jane@vyuz