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News San Diego outsources entire City Council to India By Leopard J. Ferry April 1, 2006 San Diego--In a move certain to ignite debate among constitutional scholars, San Diego mayor Jerry Sanders yesterday passed a motion that would effectively dissolve the San Diego City Council and outsource all of its duties to India. According to details of the motion, all eight City Council members will be relieved of their responsibilities on Monday, April 10, and be replaced by a cadre of Indian subcontractors screened by Indian outsourcing specialists, Outsourcing Solutions of New Delhi.
“Although it’ll be tough seeing people like [Councilwoman] Frye and [Councilman] Peters clear out their desks,” Sanders added, “it would be tougher watching them pick up a paycheck each week. The reality is, they just didn’t justify their salaries. Outsourcing Solutions put in a very attractive bid, and we’re confident that they can get the job done at one tenth the cost to taxpayers.” While the new all-Indian City Council will work independently from their hometowns in India, the members will fly to San Diego twice a year to meet with Mayor Sanders as well as their constituents. Four of the new council members have yet to be chosen by Outsourcing Solutions. However, the company made three of the replacements available to reporters at its corporate headquarters late last night. Munaf Balaji, a 47-year-old waiter from Chennai, will be the new representative of District 7, currently represented by Jim Madaffer. Balaji has never held public office, but has spent the last several years studying public policy white papers found on the internet. Based on information gleaned from the white papers, Balaji says that his first move as Councilman will be to look for coal in the hills of Tierrasanta. Yuvraj Harbhajan, a 37-year-old unemployed surfer from the Mumbai suburb of Raigad, will replace Donna Frye as representative of District 6. Harbhajan, who speaks no English, said through an interpreter he believes that San Diego’s financial problems can be traced to an abundance of beef in the marketplace. He indicated that he would work with vegans to curb beef sales within city limits. Aarush Patel, a gregarious and ambitious C++ coder from the Utter Pradesh town of Sitapur, will take Scott Peters’ seat as representative of District 1. As president of the council, it will be Patel’s duty to unite the sometimes-factious council. Patel, a new Padres fan, said he’s up to the task and added that he can’t wait to attend a baseball game this season. “It’s my understanding that Michael Piazza is one of the keenest batsmen in the National Baseball League [sic],” said Patel, beaming beneath a blue and white Padres cap. “I’m anticipating him smashing a home run ball next time I attend a match at Petco pavilion.” Some constitutional law experts question the legality of Sanders’ decision. At issue is whether the mayor has the right to dismiss the City Council en masse. “He can’t just get rid of the city council,” remarked Rudy Hasl, President of the Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego. “Those eight council members—as unproductive and inefficient as they may be—were elected by their constituents fair and square. I can’t imagine the people of San Diego putting up with this.” However, under the new “strong mayor” form of government, approved by voters in November 2004, the mayor is given executive decision-making powers that equate his position more with a chief executive than a city manager. Sanders defended his decision by pointing to a bylaw in the new form of government that allows him to veto city council decisions. “I veto their existence,” Sanders said curtly, via telephone. Ronne Froman, Sanders’ chief of staff, believes that outsourcing was the right move for the city, and that the new council will make a seamless transition into San Diego city government. “I’ve had a lot of productive conversations with Aarush over the last several weeks. He’s a remarkably bright young man with a lot of interesting ideas for this city.” When asked his opinion on the decision, as both a San Diego taxpayer and city council member, Brian Maienschein replied bluntly, “I don’t particularly enjoy being sacked, if that’s what you’re asking.” Councilmember Kevin Faulconer echoed Maienschein’s sentiments, adding, “You know, for the past two weeks, [Sanders] hasn’t said hello to me whenever we pass in the hallway. Now I know why.” “The other day, I brought some Indian food into a meeting we were having,” Faulconer recounted, “and Sanders gave Froman this wry little grin. I picked up on it, but didn’t think anything of it. I wish he’d just told us that our jobs were in jeopardy instead of keeping this big secret.” Under the agreement with Outsourcing Solutions, any crimes committed by the new council members, such as embezzlement, graft, and vote rigging, will be punishable only in India. New city council members will be paid 78 rupees, or approximately $1.75, per week. The outsourcing is expected to save San Diego taxpayers $2.7 million per year. --Buta Kumari contributed to this article from New Delhi. -------------------- Leopard J. Ferry is a freelance writer and frequent contributor to Vyuz. Suggested Vyuz reading... What it's like to be straight in Hillcrest | By Leopard J. Ferry San Diego Mayor talks corruption and the Strong Mayor form of government | By Larry Knowles Steve York, UCSD pornographer, chooses law over porn | By Larry Knowles The bare facts about Brazilian waxing | By Romina Cleary A look inside Imperial Beach border patrol | By Larry Knowles A serial networker walks among us | By April Labine-Katko |
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