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San Diego drivers get thumbs and middle fingers up for roadside courtesy

By Greg Fogg

April 24, 2006

San Diego--Remember when Ron Burgundy from Anchorman said, “Stay classy San Diego?” I’d just like to extend my personal thanks to all of San Diego’s drivers for keeping it classy on the freeway last week when my car broke down, leaving me stranded in the middle lane of the southbound 163.

For anyone who was in the vicinity at around 4:00 p.m., that was my blue Toyota Corolla and me stuck just before the Washington St. exit. I was just returning from the Toyota dealership’s service department where I had them inspect my car for the third time because of unusual electrical problems.

Most of my friends and family said, “Well, why didn’t you pull over to the side?” A good strategy, if you weren’t heading up an incline, fighting gravity. I did manage to pull over one lane, but that didn’t do a lot of good when the two exit lanes were still on my right-hand side.

I put my car in park and tried to start it, but with no power, that wasn’t going to happen. That’s when the “oh shit” factor kicked in. I was left with cars whizzing on both sides of me. All I knew was that only thing to do is stay inside the car. Later, a friend of mine would tell me that the appropriate thing to do is to exit the car and stay as far away from traffic as possible.

There’s little consensus on what a person should do when they’re stuck smack-dab in the middle of the road. The DMV’s website doesn’t provide information on safety scenarios. The Automobile Association of America’s website says pull off the road. That’s a no-brainer.

According to the site, “Switch on the safety/emergency flashers. If your vehicle has lost power in the roadway,” – now we’re getting somewhere – “set the emergency brake and place flares or warning triangles well behind the vehicle – while being extremely careful of other traffic. If you or your vehicle could be struck by traffic, leave your vehicle for a place of safety. Do not risk injury by pushing your vehicle to a safe location, unless competently assisted by others.”

Perhaps I chose unwisely, but I decided to stay inside my car. It was the only thing keeping me from being road pizza.

Here’s where I tip my hat to San Diegans. While I was scared shitless that I’d die in a fiery blaze, they showed their best side by showing me their middle fingers. In times of crisis it’s nice to know people are willing to lend a helping hand, or at least a finger. You can’t say much when you’re zipping around a car at 65 mph, but I’m pretty sure they were using their middle finger to alert me to the fact that I was stuck in the middle lane.

Likewise, thanks to the drivers who laid on their horn to let me know I was stuck on the road. I would have replied with a honk of thanks, but you know, no power.

To the woman who screamed at me, “Put your hazards on,” I’d like to say, “Why didn’t I think of that?” You, madam, are a genius of the first order. Truly, you stand on the shoulders of giants. It’s too bad that without a drop of power, the hazard lights just wouldn’t work.

Special thanks should go to two drivers who even pulled over to the side of the road. It seemed like they were exchanging information. Perhaps one clipped the other while trying to get away from me. But the way they stood there, talking and watching, making no attempt to make direct eye contact with me to see if I needed help before they drove away, was great.

I’ve reached the stage where I can make jokes about the situation now, but while I was trapped inside my four-wheeled coffin for what seemed like half-an-hour, it wasn’t so funny.

Using my cell phone, which coincidentally had a battery dying like my car’s battery, I was able to call the police, who sent an officer to the scene with lights blazing to shield me from the traffic.

At that point, a truly decent tow truck driver on another call pulled behind the cop. He couldn’t stop to tow me, but using the front of his bumper, he was able to push me to a safe spot off to the side of the road. He also taught me a valuable lesson about my car and cars in general. In a situation like mine, where there’s no power, and the car is in park, most cars cannot be put into gear, unless you press an automatic release. Mine was located to the top left corner of the gearshift. I had seen the little plastic nodule, but never knew it served any purpose. It looked like a rectangular piece of plastic the size of a Chiclet. The tow driver popped the tab off with a key, and depressed the switch with his key, and Voila!, the car could be put in neutral.

After he forced me off the road, I waited for my tow truck to come and take my car back to the dealership. After leaving it with the service department over the weekend, they found that the problem was that the negative charge on the battery had become loose. It wasn’t the alternator or any other electrical problem. I wasn’t fully convinced, but I have been driving the car for a week now and it hasn’t died. Luckily, neither did I.

Thanks again to all you classy San Diego drivers.

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