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News Carnies get carnal with San Diego women: the truth behind the Del Mar Fair By Brian Swarthmore May 29, 2006 San Diego--The Del Mar Fair officially begins June 10 and while many people will be visiting for the corn dogs, attractions and large stuffed animals, some people will be coming strictly to have sex with the carnies. It’s the dirty little secret of the Fair – emphasis on dirty – because those grizzled carnies, despite their missing teeth, greasy bodies and colorful abuse of both illegal substances and the English language, tend to attract a lot of babes. The carnies affectionately call these wanton women “lot lizards” and many of them are seemingly upstanding women who are primarily interested in anonymous sex with a stranger, especially those who will be leaving town soon.
Catfish John usually mans the Tilt-A-Whirl and he claims that he gets 1000 customers a day who want to ride the “Whirl” and another ten who “want to ride the Catfish.” He says the women range in ages from 15-year-olds who are mad at Daddy to MILFs in their 50s who are mad at their Sugar Daddy. He says he tries to accommodate “the women who are pretty and those who are pretty desperate.” As he puts it: “A lot of these women are stuck in this uptight, bullshit PTA world and once in a while, they just want to let go and have a fling. I know it’s not me they want. It’s the image. We carnies represent freedom at its ugliest.” Catfish John doesn’t just have sex with everyone because, as he colorfully points out, “If I spent all my time busting a nut in the trailer, I wouldn’t make my nut on the ride.” Instead, he teases the ladies by telling them to come back at midnight because “if they do that, I know they’ll do just about anything I want.” For instance, Catfish John says it’s not uncommon for a carny to have sex with a “lot lizard” and then pass her off to a friend. Occasionally, the women ask for it. What they don’t ask for is his name. “Sometimes, I feel like a piece of meat because these ladies only want to call me Carnie, Patch or Two-Moon Junction. But I get back at them by refusing to wash. One time, I made a woman wait for sex because I was fixing the ride and then I rubbed the grease and oil all over her tits. She dug it, too.” It sounds both unbelievable and unbelievably gross but the carnal carny antics are supported by a Rancho Santa Fe housewife who will only let herself be known as “Anne.” She’s been having carny sex since she was a 22-year-old student attending Point Loma High, after she saw the cheesy 80s movie “Two-Moon Junction” about a woman who loses respectability in her small town after having sex with a carnie. “My friends and I rented that movie and used to watch it for laughs and ask each other, ‘You wouldn’t ever do that, would you?’ It became this big joke. ‘Oh, you’re going to the fair. Make sure you suck off a carny for me.’ Or, we would be at the Fair and point out guys and say, ‘Do you think he’s cute?’ ‘No, he has too many teeth.’ “But all while we were making jokes, there was a part of me that was turned on by the idea of some greasy, burly guy using and abusing me in his trailer. One time, I went to the Fair with my then-boyfriend, who was a real preppy and I fantasized about ditching him to have a quickie with the guy who was taking tickets for the Ferris Wheel.”
It was during a “lost weekend” in 1994 when she finally propositioned a guy who was manning the ball tossing game. “I don’t know what got into me but I’d had too many beers at the beer garden and told him if he was tired watching men toss his balls maybe he would want a lady to toss his salad. He told me to meet him after work. I did and for the first time in my life, I had real porno sex. I didn’t care what he thought about me because he was obviously scum. As a result, I had my first orgasm and it became my secret passion.” Anne eventually married a much older real estate developer who is well known among the San Diego business community. And as much as her secret passion would probably cause scandal in the tight knit community of Rancho Santa Fe, she still goes back every year to have cheap carny sex. But it’s not just about sex. In 2004, she discovered her husband was infertile and, after much deliberation, she confessed her sleazy secret to him. Surprisingly, she says he not only approved of her once-a-year flings but figured it would be a good way to get pregnant. She had her first child in March of 2005 and says her husband jokes that no one has figured out the carnyis a father since it takes a while for the baby to grow teeth. On a more serious matter, Anne admits she will never know the baby’s father because “there were three or four. I made sure I was in a fertile state and didn’t want to waste the chance.” Anne is claiming she wants to swear off carny sex now that she’s a mother but admits that, at this point, the smell of leftover corn dog grease and cotton candy is almost an aphrodisiac at this point. “I’m afraid if I go, I won’t be able to control myself and there’s too much at stake.” -------------------- Brian Swarthmore is a San Diego-based writer whose former girlfriend ran off with a carnie. Suggested Vyuz reading... What it's like to be straight in Hillcrest | By Leopard J. Ferry San Diego Mayor talks corruption and the Strong Mayor form of government | By Larry Knowles Steve York, UCSD pornographer, chooses law over porn | By Larry Knowles The bare facts about Brazilian waxing | By Romina Cleary A look inside Imperial Beach border patrol | By Larry Knowles A serial networker walks among us | By April Labine-Katko |
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