Aviation expert explains why Japanese photograph their food

By Rob Potochnik

June 12, 2006

Commercial airline pilot and Vyuz aviation expert Rob Potochnik answered reader questions between sessions at a Chester Karrass "Effective Negotiating" seminar.

I’ve got a great idea. I’d like to start an autopilots’ union. I’d represent disgruntled autopilots and make a mint. What do you think?

Sounds great. When things go to hell in a hand basket you could sue them, as well. And if lightning hits them you could fly the airplane yourself. Hey, how many passengers could fly the 911 airplanes? Answer: None. So how important are pilots and how little do you want to pay them? You pay for what you get at 30,000 feet.

Why do Japanese photograph their airline food?

They do this so they can smell the picture when times are tough. They print the photos on scratch and sniff paper, which allows them to scratch one meal at a time. Pretty ingenious, ay?

I’m amazed that universities don’t offer aviation majors for those who want to be commercial airline pilots. Why is this so?

Not so anymore. Auburn University and Embry Riddle offer aviation degrees, as do several other universities. The problem is, the more pilots they pump out, the lower everyone’s pay gets. Also, if the universities make it easier for students to become pilots, the quality decreases, and that translates into crashes and death. Aviation isn’t something that can be learned simply in a classroom. It requires students to be up there, in a three dimensional world at 33,000 feet.

Is there any country, besides the U.S., that produces pilots the way Brazil produces soccer players? What country, besides the U.S., is considered to produce the highest quality commercial airline pilots?

While many European countries match the US in number and quality, the USA is the leader. In the States, a pilot must prove himself or herself by way of flying experience. In other countries, though, you can and do have airlines where the co-pilot can not fly the aircraft. The only pilot is the captain! This is why ALPA is fighting not to have foreign ownership and foreign pilots flying in the USA. Should we lower our flying standards simply to provide management cheaper labor? Remember, till death do us part, which may be sooner than later with cheap labor from overseas.

Do you think that American Airlines stands a greater chance of a terrorist attack because it has the word “American” in it?

Nope.

Why is there a pilots’ union? It’s not as though you guys are working fourteen hour days in 120 degree heat in the coal mines of West Virginia.

Touché! Pilots can and do work 16 hour days and longer. I have friends who landed an airplane after being on duty for 33 hours. Legal? Yep, thanks to the FAA. Domestic rules say you can’t fly more than eight hours, but you can be on duty for 36 hours trying to get your 8 hours. That means your pilot may be landing your plane after being awake for 35.9 hours.

If an obese person takes up two seats, do they always have to pay for two seats? If so, can why can’t a really small person only pay for half a seat?

Great question, I think airlines should sell half seats for skinny people and standing seats for two people. One could stand half way while the other sits and swap half way through. This way they could get 1000 people on an aircraft. The fares would be slightly less. PS—You’d have to split the drinks, so bring two straws.

I can never sleep on flights. Any advice for getting some Nap?

Yep, have your seat buddy hold a pillow tightly against your face for five minutes or wrap a blanket around your neck for three minutes. This is a sure fire way to get a long nap.

Have you ever heard of pilots struggling for control of a flight from the autopilot?

Nope.

Why don’t airlines use crash tests and crash test dummies like car companies do?

They do. They test everything from tires to seat cushions. Aircraft are tested and manufactured to higher standards than automobiles. They are the safest and most reliable form of transportation in the world. Driving, as well as walking, is much more dangerous. So is biking and swimming. Lawn bowling or curling is safer, but the thrill definitely isn’t there.

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Rob Potochnik is a pilot for that airline that uses crashtest humans every 12-13 years. If you have any questions about aviation or the airline industry, e-mail Rob at aviation@vyuz.com. He’ll try to provide honest answers to difficult questions, or at least pretend the questions were difficult.