Paolo the Pilot

Email this article

Aviation expert explains the term "Jet Blue landing"

By Paolo the Pilot

August 14, 2006

Paolo is the Vyuz aviation expert and a commercial airline pilot for a US carrier. He regularly answers reader questions about flight, flying, and aviation.

When I’m leaving the plane, how do I know whether the pilot at the cockpit door is the captain or co-pilot? I’d like to say thank you to the captain only. I’m attracted to leaders and have no use for the co-pilot.

Well, this is interesting, because the reason your ass is reading this and not splattered all over the pavement may be due to the nice landing the co-pilot did. As far as leaders go, major airlines hire copilots so that someone in the cockpit can have the last word on matters.

This is what women want most isn’t it? The last word? You want it but you don’t want to give it to anyone else. By the way, if you’re attracted to leaders, ask yourself this: Why would they be attracted to you? After all, anyone can buy a pretty face or body, but it what’s upstairs that counts.

I was talking to a pilot the other day and he said something about doing a “Jet Blue landing.” Do you have any idea what this means?

A “Jet Blue” landing refers to the emergency landing a Jet Blue Airbus 320 did in Los Angeles. Despite the nose tire being stuck at 90 degrees off center, the pilots did a good job landing the plane. Airbus has since fixed the pin assembly that caused the problem, so this shouldn’t happen again. To see the landing, go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq7DLOC8MBw

I started my own airline called Icarus Air, but I’m having a hard time getting investors. Nobody returns my calls. Any suggestions?

Yes, keep the name, change the owners. Anyone stupid enough to call an airline Icarus is not CEO material. Look at other “Kiwi Airlines.” The Kiwi is a flightless bird and the airline only lasted a few years in the mid-90’s. Maybe you should call your airline Idiot Airlines—then it would describe the entire management team.

Does the guy in the jump seat talk to the pilots? Do pilots get annoyed by having someone in the jump seat?

Fifty-fifty on this one. Sometimes, jump seat riders are full of jokes and nice to talk to. Sometimes, they’re jerks.

I had a flight attendant who needed more attitude adjustment than an inbound DC-10. Is there a web site where I can report my airline experiences?

Yes, it is called www.buy-another-cheap-ticket-and-keep-your-mouth-shut.com. The only reason most people choose an airline is price, not service. Since you’re only considering price, take what you get and like it. If you get bad service, try spending a little more money to sit in first or business class as. When you buy a Yugo, you can’t expect Rolls Royce performance.

When you’re out of uniform, do you ever hear people trashing your airline? If so, what did they say, and how did you react?

Who care’s what people think of your airline? As stated in the above answer, most people purchase by price not quality or safety. People can trash an airline, but they’ll take it again if the fare beats that of the competition.

--------------------

If you have any questions about aviation or the airline industry, e-mail Paolo at aviation@vyuz.com. If any of them are any good, he'll use them in his next column.