Review

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Moondoggies gets physical

By Larry Knowles

November 28, 2005

Pacific Beach--Moondoggies in Pacific Beach is a scene. Always has been. You combine responsive, outgoing bartenders with a ring of TVs around the bar showing sports, and a prime location at the head of Garnet, and you’ve got a pretty good thing going.

Immediately behind the bartender sat four rows, and about a hundred bottles, of booze.

Maybe he was British and on something.

The bartender, picking up on both points, extended all the courtesies afforded those in the “special relationship” between the United States and Great Britain.

“Yeah, we have a full stocked bar. Whaddaya want?”

“Ev you gah se’son the beach?” the lad asked. And finally, he got his cocktail: Sex on the Beach.

The ordering, as is the case when at the bar, was by committee. One guy drew me a beer, another handed me a menu, and a different guy delivered the food. I ordered the beef fajitas ($10.95) and an Alaskan Ale. I’d also ordered the spinach artichoke dip ($7.75) as an appetizer, but the bartender who took my order told me that the fajitas were more than enough.

A blonde woman craned her neck over the bar and turned to look me in the eye. It was the kind of bold move that only someone with a lot of alcohol in their system would pull. When she pulled back, I looked at her with indifference and said, “Hi.”

“What’s the bartender’s name?” she asked.

“J.J.,” I replied.

“Jaaaaaay-jaaaaaay!” she squeeled.

J.J. cringed as he mixed a drink across the bar. Sorry about that J.J., I thought.

“Can I get a menu, Jaaay-Jaaay?”

“Kitchen’s closed.” He nodded at me and added, “He got the last food from the kitchen. You can ask him for some of his, if you want.”

She looked at me and I gave her no truck. Eating time, not playing time.

“I just wanted some food,” she said to me, pouting.

Then she leaned into me, stuck her arm under mine, caressed my chest, and grabbed my right breast before walking away.

Mixed reactions here. Eighty percent of me thought, Okay, pretty cool, a compliment, all that. The other twenty thought, Double Standard! Double Standard!

Sounds silly, but do I have a right to say I was molested at Moondoggies?

I mean, what would happen if I went up to woman at a bar, stuck my arm under hers, fondled her breasts and walked away? Seriously,…what would happen? I’d likely be brought up on molestation charges. I’d, at the very least, be thrown out of the bar and asked never to come back.

This woman was pretty lit, she was cute, she was flirtatious, and truth be told, appeared normal, well adjusted, and not a threat to anyone (unless she got behind the wheel just then). But, hey, any guy who pulled that would be considered lewd, lascivious, a threat to society,…a miscreant, a misanthrope.

I never would have cried foul. I generally have a high tolerance when it comes to flirty young blondes wanting to cop a feel. But, I’m…just…wondering,…are women the only ones who are allowed to cry the “M” word?

When the fajitas came out, this much was clear: Moondoggies doesn’t skimp on the food.

The fajitas tasted great. Oddly, though, they didn’t come with lettuce or diced tomatoes. Ever heard of that? It was a first for me.

With so much food on the skillet, I quickly ran out of tortillas and asked for a few more. The only lapse in otherwise top-notch service was when I had to ask again for the things about ten minutes later.

“Wow, we’re lagging on your food today,” J.J. apologized. “Sorry ‘bout that.” Really, though, everything was delivered as ordered and on time. The two beers I had were put in front of me before I finished asking for them.

Moondoggies changes their menu fairly regularly. This is usually a good sign. You see that management is trying out new dishes, shedding the ones that don’t sell that well. It’s a sign that a place is never getting lazy. The only problem is, sometimes a place will get rid of the wrong dish. I’m a big fan of their chicken risotto, but they haven’t had it in a while. If you see it on the menu in the future, get it. It’s great.

If you want a little scene and serendipity, Moondoggies is the place. If you have any issues with being touched, brushed against, fondled, or tweaked, however, you may want to go elsewhere. But, wherever you go, you probably won’t get as much food for your money.

Moondoggies

832 Garnet Ave.

San Diego, CA 92109

858.483.6550