And, no matter how irrational or deranged the lover turns out to be, they suffer it to the bitter end, making excuses for the psychotic mate along the way.

Some ends are more bitter than others. When Nicole Sinkule, of Oceanside, decided to give her lover a second chance, asking a judge to remove a protective court order that kept him out of her life, she was not rewarded with amorous fireside whispers. Her man showed his passion with the blow of a hammer across her skull.

Everyone is Sinkule’s life urged her against her decision. But, people in love are inconvincible.  She blamed his previous ungentlemanly behavior on methamphetamine addiction, convincing herself that he was now reformed and ready to love. Sinkule suffered from a common female malady, the unflinching belief that a man will change.

Tina Marie Stebbins of San Bernardino has the illness too. She’s planning on marrying the man who shot her and held her hostage for six days. But, all of that stuff is just a fun, little tale to tell the grandkids over hot cocoa and Oreos. After all, a bullet can’t get between “soul mates.” In a victim impact statement, Stebbins wrote, “I love Christian today as deeply as I loved him before this awful thing happened to us.”

It would seem, to the objective eye, that Christian was the awful thing that had happened. Nothing particularly terrible happened to him until the 20-year prison sentence that rightfully followed his loving gesture. Happily, Stebbins will have something to remember Christian by while he plays center in the prison shower room football game. Convicts have a lot of passion, too.

It’s true that love will make people do crazy things. And really, who’s crazier: the guy who beats his lady until she’s paralyzed from the chest down or the woman who knows he has it in him but, sticks around because she loves him? There are women in abusive situations that want out, but are terrified to leave. But, what of the woman who still smiles lovingly at the man who smacked her around the living room the night before because his steak was over-cooked?

Do these men need a lesson in romance? Is it simply that they don’t understand the delicate alchemy for female seduction? A hot bubble bath and a bottle of champagne are always preferred over the afternoon session of berating and humiliation. Nine out of ten women agree that a backrub is more sensual than being locked in the broom closet for three days. Buying her parents a nice anniversary meal at a fine restaurant is more polite than executing them in their beds.

Or maybe some women don’t realize when love just isn’t a strong enough foundation to stand on. Maybe their fear of being alone is greater than their fear of violence or death. They’ve decided they would rather tolerate sleeping with a sociopath than facing an empty bed in the morning. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, one-third of female homicide victims (1976-1999) were murdered by their husbands, ex-husbands or boyfriends.

No longer is love about the marriage certificate, the wedding album and the golden anniversary. It’s about divorce, restraining orders and death certificates. Though it is undeniably convenient to have a guaranteed date to the staff Xmas party, is it worth all the bloodshed and the swollen, morning eyes? Love is always painful, but the old-school checklist of pros versus cons might help a lady determine whether her mate is worth all that cash spent on concealer.