Most San Diegans think San Diego Union-Tribune is the pinnacle or nadir of the town’s journalism scene but, truth is, the news outlet with the greatest reach is Wireless Flash News Service.

It’s a news agency based in Hillcrest that sells offbeat, quirky news to 800 media outlets worldwide including Jay Leno, David Letterman and the Daily Show.

As my boss puts it, as long as the checks clear, the subscribers can take credit for our hard work.

In the ten years I’ve been employed at WF, I’ve had the chance to interview celebrities like Mr. T, Donald Trump, the guy who played Little Ricky on I Love Lucy and I once asked Martha Stewart, ``Is there anyone you met in prison who might have been a good `Apprentice’ candidate if circumstances were different?’’

Her answer: ``Yes. Next question.’’

I also interviewed three men who claimed to be God so I already know what it’s like to meet my maker.

As you might have guessed, WF is the company that comes up with weird guests for radio shows, strange surveys for news columnists, and bizarre trends for journalists looking for something different than the other news agencies.

For instance, a few days ago, my colleague Greg Fogg wanted to do a story about the avian flu but, instead of interviewing a boring old scientist with, ugh, statistics, he got an animal communicator to speak with ducks in Malaysia and Kuwait to see how they’re handling the story.

And I did a story tied into the new Harry Potter movie that required me to speak with a fundamentalist preacher in Forest, Virginia, who believes that people who  speak incantations are opening up themselves to demonic possession--even if they’re actors spouting made-up magic words.

It’s not the type of journalism taught in schools, especially because we often figure out the story first and then find the source later,...like the time when the editorial staff was musing why it was okay to drink on St. Patrick’s Day but not Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday.

So I came up with the headline, ``Martin Luther King, Jr.: I Have A Drink’’ and then asked bartenders to submit King-oriented cocktails. One guy created ``King Cola,’’ a mix of Coke and Chambord that he described as ``a non-violet drink with sweet Southern charm,’’ while a Boston boozehound created the ``MLK,’’ a beverage with Kahlua and Captain Morgan that he says reminds people of what happens ``when black and white come together.’’

More serious journalists have asked me if I’m contributing anything to journalism and I’ve replied that my stories are entertainment first, but are: a) a leveling ground that proves anyone can have an opinion, and b) a semi-satirical commentary on what people are talking about.

It hasn’t always been easy. The Clinton years were perfect for our news--especially the Monica era when stories about oral sex were mainstream topics. Then September 11 made a lot of people more serious and less inclined for news that, as we say, ``raises the eyebrow or makes the mouth drop.’’

These days, it looks like the pendulum is swinging back towards nutty news, and that’s good, because, for me, increased interest in ``Aliens took my baby’’ stories are a sign of economic prosperity.

BIRDS IN ASIA KNOW EVERYTHING ISN'T DUCKIE OVER AVIAN FLU

It may sound bird- brained but the birds in Asia know they're getting sick from the avian flu. That's according to Dr. Kim Ogden-Avrutik, a psychic animal intuitive who recently communicated telepathically with several fowl in Indonesia and Kuwait where the flu is spreading.

http://www.flashnews.com/news/wfn1051117J10298.html

HELLISH LIFE AHEAD FOR `HARRY POTTER' STARS

Those Harry Potter films have made Daniel Radcliffe a star but they've also made him a target for demonic possession. According to occult expert David Benoit, that's the cross the actor has to bear for playing a magician because evil spirits don't care whether a magic spell is spoken for real or as part of a role.

http://www.flashnews.com/news/wfn3051117J24043.html

LENNON'S DEATH IMMORTALIZED IN LEGOS

An artist who is stuck on Legos has created a new sculpture of John Lennon out of the building blocks. New York-based Nathan Sawaya, whose medium is Legos, has assembled a 71-inch by 54-inch sculpture that hangs as if it's floating in air and looks like the sketch Lennon once drew of himself.

http://www.flashnews.com/news/wfn5051117J12953.html

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